The Biggest Lesson

Someone asked me recently what was the most important thing I had learned this time- being abroad.

Hmmm......

This has got to be it: That God is ALWAYS in charge.

So, working at El Bichito- the after school homework/lunch center for poor mountain kids in Puylucana, Peru was not my original plan. No- I was coming to Peru to take care of orphans! Child care. There's just something romantic about the idea of orphans that draws me to them. Rocking cute infant babies in your arms, letting them fall asleep on your chest. Being able to fill the hole of a mom they never had. Being able to call them "your kids" because they are no one else's. Showing them love they do not know. I loved it in Romania and I wanted to love it again- but this time with the beautiful South American children- with ojos abiertos and dark beautiful skin.

But it didn't work out. Long story short- the management for the orphanage changed and the new directors don't want to accommodate volunteers. The excuse was a paperwork problem. The problem was a miscommunication in a train of 6 people.

I was so dissapointed. No. This is not what I paid money to come and volunteer and do. No. No. No. And now I was going to have to go work with school kids. What? That is not what I signed up for. This is not what I paid money for. This is not why I am not working this summer and earning money I need. No. No. No.

And then, like a sun slowly rising on a dark world, throughout the course of my time here, I began to see exactly what God had in store for me. This was not a mistake at all. This was a shortcut to all the things I really needed in my life. He had it all planned out... perfectly. It's kinda scary how perfect it is, in fact.

My major is elementary education. I needed experience teaching students and managing students. I need practice with classroom management. For parenting sake, for a classroom's sake. And I got a class full of 80 kids who are unruly, used to getting away with things and lying. They all hated reading, avoided homework, and were not good at respecting the authority of a teacher. They were all ready to be molded into whatever I wanted to mold them into, depending on how I manage them and motivate them. Perfect for me to grow. It's not my paid job, so if I mess up, I don't lose my salary, but... it was all in my hands, ready to be experimented with and perfected. I got 80 pieces of playdough, and God told me I could just go and start experimenting! It took about a week of trying different ideas before I settled into a system that worked well. Now all the kids come every day, are respectful, love reading, love English class, and are polite. Es un milagro.

 My minor is contemporary dance, and I want to teach dance but have also never had my own classroom. There are about 4-5 girls here who love dancing and with whom I am able to teach ballet- french words- to Spanish students. :) They feel like princesses, I love it, and God granted me another opportunity I needed.

My other minor is teaching english as a second language. Guess what I do most of the time here? Teach English to Spanish-speaking kids. Adults too at night. It's perfect practice.

Boys. My biggest fear is what to do with middle school boys. With my brother and his friends especially, I just can't connect to them very well. I need experience and help. Guess what our biggest group of kids is? 6th grade boys. So much time to practice. I have gotten much better!

I need practice speaking spanish. One of the biggest problems in child education in the US is the fault of communication between the teachers and the Spanish-speaking parents. I want to be able to communicate with Spanish speakers. I needed practice. Well, you can't really practice speaking spanish to orphan babies. I lived in Romania for 3 months and I never really got the language because I just sang English lullabies and they never talked back. But to school age kids, that's all they wanna do- is talk to you. And to adults, and coworkers, and the JAS- young single adults- we are talking all the time. My Spanish fluency has really improved. Thank you God.

I needed practice setting up a classroom. Boom. All the supplies were in one room.

We had an entire floor- the 3rd floor empty. We made posters, labeled books, moved and made benches for all the kids. Boom. My first classroom breathed it's first breath. And man was I excited.

I needed practice setting up a system that would perpetually encourage kids to read and learn simply because of the way it was set up, that could be perpetuated across other volunteers. Granted. We worked on it a lot, and the system holds up and keeps the kids motivated and accountable. Children's literacy gets me so excited.

This sounds bad- but it's true- I needed practice working with people who are dishonest and lazy. How could I encourage them to work as a team and contribute? I needed to practice getting along with them and maintaining good relationships. Need granted. People who were almost enemies when we arrived are now some of our dearest friends.

I have always been timid in sharing my faith, and I needed practice not being so ashamed. Here, we work with the LDS missionaries a lot to help them visit people. We met a really nice girl down the street who is always asking so many questions from the missionaries about God and we love inviting her over to learn English, have fun, and have missionary lessons. I have learned to value my faith in a whole new light when I can see someone else desiring it so much. This perhaps is my greatest joy- recognizing the joy in missionary work. I needed this, and I got it.

And perhaps there are needs of the community that only God knows, but that He is granting for them through my service. Perhaps God wanted me to play the piano for the ward and for Hanna to teach the Young Women how to lead music. Perhaps something else we taught them, they needed. I don't know. It's all in His hands.
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Besides my needs, I had a few wants too. Wishes. Desires, that were also granted.

I just wanted to see a more traditional culture, and live in a poorer place to experience poverty. I've always desired this my whole life- to live in poverty for just a while. To know it by experience. Not essential to my growth, perhaps, but it was a wish of my heart, and we got transferred from big city Trujillo with 2 million people to little pueblo Puylucana with 1000 people where most adults are illiterate, most people don't brush their teeth, they wash their clothes by hand in the river and the people build their own houses out of dirt. Wish granted. Not only is it what I personally wanted, but it's also 10 times safer for two traveleing gringas than a big city like Trujillo with much more crime.

Perhaps there are more things I have yet to fully realize that God also wanted me to see, know, learn.

Perhaps God wanted to teach me that, in some situations, children with single parents who have nothing to do during the day are at more risk than orphans who have constant caregivers watching over them 24/7, employed by the state.

Perhaps he wanted me to see that education is another key to success, just like a nuclear family is. (But it is not anywhere as near as important as family!!)

Perhaps he wanted those kids to experience the joy of reading, the joy of education, and He knew that I might be the person for the job.

Perhaps he wanted me to experience stepping back, saying "I'll Go Where You Want me to go, Dear Lord,", and really meaning it. I wanted to rock baby orphans. But that didn't happen. Here I am in an after-school center, in Puylucana. I didn't want to go to Puylucana. But here I am. So yeah- I'll go here.

And you know what? Besides all those other things I have learned, needed, and experienced, when it comes down to it- I just love these kids. They are so cute, so sweet, so smart. They are the most selfless and generous children I have ever met, and they take care of each other and their siblings with a care I do not see as much in the United States.

And even with their quirks- their lying and complaining- I just like them, they make me laugh, and none of them are inherently bad or perpetually naughty. Children come with a rare innocence that I am only starting to recognize through my new adult eyes. King Benjamin knew what he was talking about when he said everyone should becometh as a little child. These kids are good. They're my friends. And I will really miss them.

Dallin H. Oaks, said, "Seek always for the broader view of the majestic work of God."

And for the 5th time in my life, when major life decisions and turning points in my life have arose, God's way is better than my way.

Tuesday, 2 more days, is our last day with the kids. And I can for sure say that this is definitely the most valuable and important lesson I have learned in Peru: He is ALWAYS in charge.

So, stop worrying when it doesn't all go exactly according to your plan. Just step back. Enjoy watching the miracles of God unfold. Let your jaw drop at how perfect it turns out. Let your little tiny self soak in the majesty of a bigger plan- a bigger purpose- bigger and better than you or anything you could have planned.

And in the meantime, serve with grace, consciously choose to have a blast, 

and enjoy being a small part of those miracles.