Poor, Poor, Thomas: Science v.s. Faith

Disclaimer: This post is a direct copy-paste of my lecture notes from Biology class with C. Riley Nelson at BYU. So, these aren't my words. I just happen to really agree with them all.

"How many of you have sat in on a Sunday school class and the consensus at the end was,

 “Poor Thomas. He should have believed.”?

Well, I am grateful for Thomas because it shows me there might be some hope for me.

Some won't believe until they can touch and see it.

So, what did Christ say when he appeared?

"Arise and come forth unto me, that ye may thrust your hands into my side, and also that ye may feel the prints of the nails in my hands and in my feet, that ye may know that I am the God of Israel, and the God of the whole earth, and have been slain for the sins of the world."

 And it came to pass that the multitude went forth, and thrust their hands into his side, and did feel the prints of the nails in his hands and in his feet; and this they did do, going forth one by one until they had all gone forth, and did see with their eyes and did feel with their hands, and did know of a surety and did bear record, that it was he, of whom it was written by the prophets, that should come.

 And when they had all gone forth and had witnessed for themselves, they did cry out with one accord, saying:

 Hosanna! Blessed be the name of the Most High God! And they did fall down at the feet of Jesus, and did worship him.  (3 Nephi 11: 14-17)

He told his disciples: "Behold my hands and my feet, that it is I myself: handle me, and see; for a spirit hath not flesh and bones, as ye see me have." (Luke 24:39)

He then told the Nephites, "And again, more blessed are they who shall believe in your words because that ye shall testify that ye have seen me, and that ye know that I am." (3 Nephi 12: 2)

Changing topics.

I love science.

 I want to learn everything I can about how the universe works.

But there's no way I can ever comprehend it all. 

Or prove it all.

So, I love religion.

 Because I can't prove religion either, but religion is simple, and it explains the everything.

And besides, it makes me feel good. Happy. Peaceful. 

And it inspired me to value and help other people. 

So- they're both worth it.

Science is an idea held by the scientific community to be true, based on the material evidence at hand. Theories can be thrown out if a different explanation offered more explanatory power. 

Science can be self-correcting.

 Critcs and laws of science are constantly are evaluated and changed. 

Science has built within it's structure a willingness to accept change.

Honestly, faith is the same.

So, experiment upon the word.

I have, and I like it.

Can science solve all our problems?

No. Will I be happy? Will I be rich? Why am I here? Where am I going? What should I do? 

How can I make life better for the people around me whom I love?

These are questions- very important questions at that- that only religion can answer. 

They're worth answering. They're worth religion.

But- science should not be abandoned, nor ignored.
Science also has a good record of helping us. 

Think of all the lives medicine has saved.
Babies and mothers that no longer die in childbirth.
People that eat healthier.
The blessings of people who don't live in superstitions.
The diseases we have rid the earth of.
Technology to make life better for more people.

All the animals ecology and biology has saved. All the precious life science has preserved. 

Science should not be abandoned, nor ignored.

Science can also be abused. Think of the atomic bomb.
But, in my opinion, the good outweighs the evil.

My hope is that one day all these things can be rolled into one.

Science and Religion are not at odds. 

They have the same goal- to discover ultimate truth. 

They just have different starting points and different methods.

 They work together. 

Without either, our intelligence and joy would be greatly handicapped.

It makes God happy when we use both our brains and our hearts/spirits to learn.
 He gave us both.

Let it be sure:

God lives. 

Jesus Christ is His son. 

They have a plan bigger for us than our brains can comprehend right now. 

The gospel has been restored to the earth. 

Families can be together forever.

Everything else is open for discussion."

Again- these are copy-pasted notes from a lecture by C. Riley Nelson at Brigham Young University. 

The Day I Met My Hero

There was a folk dance social thing Saturday night. The girls learned to hula and the boys learned the haka from these legit islanders! And we ate super scrumptious hot dogs.

At the end, they had us all sit down and said a special guest speaker was coming. And then- guess who walked in the door? 

Sister Dalton! 

WHAT?!?!?! Holy cow. I could not believe it. Sister Dalton was called as Young Women General President when I was a beehive and released right as I graduated laurels. She was my general young women leader! I could not believe this was actually happening.

When she came in the door, honestly, I was very surprised. I recognized her face and her smile instantly. But the rest of her- wasn't what I expected. She was wearing a knee-length skirt that exposed some very spidery, old lady legs. There were bags under her eyes. Her belly was bigger than I thought- she had a little pooch. :) Just like any other lady her age. 

Here was the woman I had idealized watching on general conference, and she looked so.... normal. It was actually kind of comforting. I turned on general conference again, and somehow she looks so perfect on the screen.

But I loved what she said. It just perfectly applied to my situation, at college, with lots of challenges. She said what she always says, 

“Smile.” 

“One virtuous young woman can change the world.”

 “You are custom-made and uniquely placed to be where God needs you right now.”

 “Whate'er thou art, act well thy part.” 

"What are you doing on the sidelines? You can dance!"

"Preach the gospel through your life. Through your dance. Let your faith and your testimony of Christ shine through."

I was sitting on the floor in the very front row, only 8 feet away from her. Her message touched me so much at one point I started weeping and looking down at the ground. When I finally brought myself to look up again at her, there she was, looking back straight at me specifically, smiling the warmest smile. And she winked at me. ;) 

Afterwards we sang her God Be With You Till We Meet Again. The spirit was so strong. I loved it.  

I went over to the sidelines to stand by her and talk to her. 

Oh man- I never thought our faces would ever be this close!!!!!

Then she pulled out bubble wrap and said everyone should get the opportunity to dance on bubble wrap. Her husband made her do it with him. She smiled and me and said, "He's rotten, isn't he?"

So, it turns out that sometimes our heroes aren't really all they look like on the screen. 

But- Sister Dalton is still one of mine.

Sanctified

Nobody's perfect. But I wish I was. But I'm human.

There's one mistake I made in particular, that I wish I could redo. A part of myself I hate exists. I always felt uncomfortable when the topic about trying to do better in this area came up. I suffered through the lessons and talks on it. I knew what was "right", but "right" was literally impossible. It was something I just couldn't do. I tried to be content and move on, living with my imperfection. I was just going to have to live life being imperfect. But man, that stinks.

But I discovered something wonderful today. So, as I tell my story, I hope you can think of something you don't like about yourself- a mistake you made- something that makes you feel uncomfortable. Thinking of that will make this story better for you.

For the women's meeting at my church, they invited us a week ahead of time to read an article to prepare for the next weeks' lesson. It was on- you guessed it- my least favorite topic. For some reason I read the article anyway. I felt so uncomfortable the entire time. Reading it was torture. I thought to myself, "I hate living like this. Why can't I just make this go away?"

And, for some reason, all of a sudden I remembered something- God knows me. Everything about me. He knows how I'm good and how I'm weak. But, if He knows - why should I talk to Him and tell Him what he already knows?

Yet- somehow, there I was, praying. Opening my mouth and being honest. He already knew- so I might as well speak the obvious. I opened my mouth- and beautiful words came out. Words I didn't plan on. But I was being me- being Alana- being totally honest. Talking to God as if He were my friend. There were lots of long pauses between all my sentences:

"God, I did something wrong....

And I know it was wrong.....

And I'm sorry.

I am so so so so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I'm just so sorry."

Long pause. Lots of crying. I could clearly imagine God in a white robe, sitting on a chair, listening, while I knelt at his feet and let my tears wash his feet.

And then, the feeling was different. I could imagine God in a white robe, sitting on a chair, with Christ beside him, in a white robe, sitting on a chair, with me crying in His Christ's lap, while He held me close, and stroked my back. I could almost feel my back get wet, because I know He was crying with me too. He knows how much it hurts. He loves me so much. I can feel it.

"You know me, Lord. You know I'm a good person. You know about all those times I tried so hard to be good. All those times I did the right thing when I was all alone- when it was awkward and unnatural. You know how much I want to be good.

But with this, God, you know that I try, but I just can't do it. It's too hard for me. I mess up. I'm so so so sorry."

More long pauses. More tears. More stroking my back.

"God, I hate this part of myself. I don't want it. I don't want it anymore......

I don't want it anymore......

I don't want it anymore......

I don't want it anymore......."

Another long pause.

And then, the key words came out of my mouth.

"..... Can you help me? Can you take it away?"

And I felt Him say, "Of course, my Alana. I love you. I was waiting for you to ask me. I want you to be happy and free."

And, just like that- I was new. I felt new. I felt stronger. Like- somehow, suddenly, I was strong enough to resist making that mistake ever again. Because suddenly, there was nothing appealing about it anymore. It wasn't even tempting.

Then, I started to get ideas. Good ideas. About how I can be strong the next time a situation arises where it's hard for me. New ways I'll think. New ways I'll act. This will be ten times easier now, because my desire for sin is gone. Christ took it away. Hallelujah.

When we prepare to take the bread and water at church, I usually sing the song and sit quietly. This time, I was amazed. I kept flipping through the sacrament hymns about Jesus Christ in the hymnbook. Every word of the song wasn't just a nice poem- it was the truth. Why hadn't I noticed it before? Oh my goodness. This was actually true. This was right. This was liberating.

"“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30).

"How Gentle God's command.

How kind His precepts are.

Come cast your burdens on the Lord

and trust His constant care."

I'll drop my burden at his feet.

Our church lesson on the topic proceeded as planned, and I wasn't uncomfortable at all. I felt so good. There was nothing for me to be ashamed of. It wasn't a part of me anymore. It was gone, and I was new, and I was good. I love being good. When the teacher talked about making mistakes, I couldn't connect with the mistake makers, because I didn't have that desire anymore. I thought, "That's not me."

No guilt. No shame.

Only peace. I feel so clean. I feel so alive. I feel so able. I feel so strong. I feel so free.

I feel sanctified.

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound

that saved a wretch like me.

I once was lost, but now am found.

Blind, but now I see.

What is the worth of a soul to the Father?

What is the cost of one sheep?

The price that was paid, for my soul to save

causes my heart to weep.

Being imperfect is an important part of God's plan. We can become stronger through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. He loves us. I know that's true.

So, with whatever thing you thought of that you are uncomfortable with- a topic you avoid, a part of you you don't think you can ever change-

Talk to your friend in the heavens. He's a very good listener. He already knows. But sometimes when it comes out of your own mouth, it feels good to know He knows.

He'll take it from there. 

For the Beauty of the Earth

I had to do a biology project out in nature. So I choose sunflowers and biked uphill to Provo Canyon.

Here's the thing - the Earth is beautiful.

But you have to stop and look at it.

So many different forms and systems of biodiversity work together in this great wonder we call life.

Here's why I like sunflowers: 

They're happy. And bright.

Why? 

Because they are always facing....

the sun.

Think on that one. :)

How did he know?

Well, this was pretty much the best general conference ever. General conference is where we watch 8 hours worth of good guidance and life council from the leaders of our church. Why was it so awesome? Because 1- me and my roommates made a super awesome conference fort. Yeah, we take the King Benjamin chapters in the Book of Mormon seriously. :)

And Claire made homemade popcorn. And Cassie made homemade hot chocolate.

And we may or may not have used our internet cords for the primary support. And they may or may not have been tied to the pantry door. So the fort collapsed temporarily every time someone got hungry.

But besides the fort, 2- why conference was actually good was- I think I was just more prepared to listen to what they had to say. And, I had several questions in my mind I wanted the answer to. 

The moment of beauty came during President Uchdorf's talk. Somehow he said every single thing my heart was thinking about, the answers made sense and I felt really warm in my heart. 

The moment came where I had to pull my blanket up over my head so my roommates couldn't see me and I cried and cried and cried. How did he know that was exactly what I needed to hear? It was as if all the questions I had been wondering were answered. Like every sentence and every word he said was a clear, direct answer to another specific question I had recently wondered. I kept wondering, "How did he know? How did he know? How did he know the troubles of my soul and give me answers?"

That's how I know he's a prophet. 
"Whether by mine own voice,
or by the voice of my servants,
 it is the same." D&C 1:38

Today they were the same. There is no way he could have known I had all those questions. But God knew- because I'd been telling God. So, God answered me. Through President Uchdorf.

I know I am thinking about the gospel with the right lenses when I feel like I am in primary again.

It's so simple.

My fort became heaven

Christ was so close.

He loves me so much.

It's amazing that with all the people in this huge wide world,

 that God took the time to speak to me, 

Alana Fern Peters.

He must really love me.

I love Him too. A lot.